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Old Dec 14, 2018, 02:19 PM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006 View Post
NO one can or should say whether your reaction is wrong but that it is what it is. I will offer a few thigns about the situation

I can say that it seems to me that the interpretation of things could be off here and a lack of communication between the two of you. first thing I noticed was that your friend added "yeah we should have talked more about this" I wonder about what? Is there something left out here that is not being said, was there more to the story related to the idea that she seemed willing to wait at first? did she actually say that or did you assume that her stopping there for you implied she would wait? I know that it may seem rather simple to answer but I think it's a critical question to ask yourself.

Another observation is that you stated that you had arrived earlier than expected and I'm wondering if that may be a factor as to part of why should wouldn't wait even if she may have before. waiting around for you to even be able to go to the viewing and then wait for you til you were done, perhaps it was the idea that it ws going to take longer than originally planned in her mind? Did assuming she would wait indefinitely for you no matter the amount of time end up being something that you haven't considered? I mean assuming she would wait for you even though you were early is kind of presumptuous too.

Again I dont' know all the other details of your relationship with this person so I don't know what may be playing into your interpretation of things but based solely on what you've said here, I think there are a few things to consider.
Thanks. When I had asked originally on email if she would be willing to wait for me, she said yes. However, there was no discussion of how long she would be willing to wait. And that may have been what we needed to talk more about. As it turned out, even though we were 15 minutes early, the viewing was already going on, so the wait would have been maybe 15 minutes total. I do know this friend is not a good "wait-er"--she doesn't like to wait. I was surprised she had originally said she was willing to wait. But I took her at her word. Bottom line is that we should have discussed more than a yes/no answer it seems like, and I know now, not to count on this friend when it involves inconveniencing her. I can still be friends with her knowing that, it just means that to protect myself, I can't equate care with her waiting, because its not going to happen. I still feel like I give more in the relationship and that's something that I need to figure out how much I am willing to give. Kit
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