I agree with the above. It seems that you like this T and find the therapy useful given that you keep seeing her - other people can have many different opinions and I would just take what is helpful to me and leave the rest.

You know I don't like pushing assumptions either but I think anybody can speculate and a lot of what goes on in therapy generally is indeed speculation, it is far from some kind of hard data science. Also, I think the way people perceive what counts as abuse or not can vary quite widely in cases that are not severe and where harm is not clearcut, what is important if how you feel about it - I never think it is a good idea to let others pull you into victimhood. However, you do have an intense interest in figuring these things out, but no real data (memory or other evidence) regarding your childhood, so speculation is pretty much what can be used to target it.