What does it mean when an alter takes control and all I can do is watch or become that alter?

I mean who I am disappears and now the next one up becomes me or I them without any control of my wants, but held captive behaving as they wish which is now me? Because of this, my memory is fragmented at best and missing at worst.

God this is so confusing, I don’t know who I am anymore. When I think that I’m thinking....it’s a good chance that I’m thinking is what another is thinking. There is no peace but angst in this mind of tornado like activity...a never ending swirl of blending and fading and re-emerging.

I don’t know if this is DID/OSDD, but sure it isn’t skitzo/psycho/crazy because in the big picture....we come across as a genius eccentric normal person that holds a job if anything.

Only if the merry go round between parts would stop...maybe get a toe on the ground...just maybe.

Frustrated, thanks for letting me vent.