Quote:
Originally Posted by leomama
How about I believe it is possible to be in a relationship with a person with aspergers and be ok? Initially I left the person because I couldn’t handle it but I took some time off and realized how much I loved him. I know that people with aspergers can be abusive. I also know people with ptsd can be abusive. You found your peace in separation. I found no peace in separation. I know there are whole websites dedicated to partners of aspergers. We can’t help who we love, we love who we love. Is it wrong of me to love someone with aspergers?
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No it is not wrong to love someone with aspergers but it is wrong to stay in an abusive relationship for any reason.
Not all people with ASD are abusive especially not in the way this guy is....but he has proved what he is like. If you yourself grew up around abuse & learned abusive techniques yourself you are just adding gasoline to fire.....not a good combination.
Sorry but I don't buy that fable that we can't help who we love. That is just an excuse & to validate themselves for staying with the wrong person.
First off one gets to REALLY know a person before falling in love & if there are serious red flags one leaves before ever getting emotionally involved. One can still use a combination of one's logical & emotional mind in picking out someone to love. Attraction to someone may exist but in no way is that love. REAL LOVE grows between 2 people out of mutual respect & common values & showing true care & committment for each other. One sided committment does NOT create REAL LOVE. Anything else is either being in love with a fantasy that one creates about the person or just infatuation.
I question that what you are feeling about this abusive person is REAL LOVE.