Hi Ab2371

Please see my other posts.I set "victim" in "" to show that I distance myself.

You are completely right, my wife is NOT aware of the consequences of the stories and actions.
I wrote her many times that I do not blame her for what she does. That I want to help our children and so on, but in the past time, when I mentioned our children, it did not change anything at all.

I cannot tell WHY she does what she does, for me it is a mental disorder she received somewhen in the far past by something. I asked myself for so many years to what degree she is aware of what she does and I think: almost ZERO. Maybe, thanks to sertralina, ZERO now.

And yes, I think mythomaniacs are lying to everyone including themselfs. I think that my wife really believes her stories when other believe her. Maybe in the absolute beginning of a new story there is some small understanding that it's phantasy, but that seems to vanish very fast and then I could never see any sign of self-analysis, self-critizism, self-reflection about the story and their consequences.

She SURLY enjoyes telling stories! It gives her energy if someone believes and takes her energy if someone doubts. But as everyone a first believes, she loves talking to new people. Every new "friend" after some days or weeks starts to understand something is wrong, feels abused and dis-respected and turns away.

Her lover managed to stay with her now for 8 months. He is completely paranoid by now and unable to talk with anyone else than her.

AB, I think in former years, before sertralina, my wife had instincts to tell her and she had phases of regret and sadness about that she "destroyed all" - but then she put it so drastically that I would say: "no, it's not all your fault" - while in reality it was. I think sertralina wiped out all those doubts and instincts and now she is a pure NPD-mythomania operated being, without the free will necessary to understand herself and act NOT according to the condition.

I can imagine that there are different levels of severity. I assume that my sister has the same condition (NPD), but her stories where always so exaggerated that everyone knew after 5 minutes that she is "insane". She had a lot of troubles everywhere and has a very bad and isolated life now.

So, you are hopefully lucky to have understood this. I believe that creativity and impulsivity can be positive results of the condition, but without any kind of awareness and denial of any kind of effort to bring her awareness.

Maybe she must loose all, including my children, the place she lives and the person she lives with, now, to "feel" that she lost the battle and then start to look for the right therapy? I wished that was not necessary and ther was a way to support her to admit and start a therapy.
But, during the past 17 years, I wished so often for a "wonder" that would help her and it never came. Maybe I'm too optimistic about possibilities and there is simply none, if her condition does not allow for one by itself, like with you.

AB, a last thought: her stories are mean, as she needs to make me "the enemy". She posts her stories on facebook, send them to my friends, tells them to her lover, her lawyer, the judge.
She turns around reality and when I try to turn it back, it looks like if I would say the same mean things about her.
Like: she started to cheat on me in October with the new lover. In January they could not hide because of a change in the location. So they tried to force me to accept this and work any pay for her and him, so as if that person would become my husband as well.

I told him that my wife is severely sick, but she told him that I am severely sick. He started to believe her. In Febraury I begged him to let my family alone and he departed, keeping the contact to my wife who meanwhile send away from our farm all people we had working there.
Then he came back, moved into my bed and I left the place and moved to an own appartment.

Then she posted on facebook that I left her alone with our four children, poor and alone, for weeks, and then, from out of nothing, a kind man came into her life to help her and stand by her side.
She did not mention that she has had sexual intercourse with him for the past 6 months and that I left AFTER he moved in, because she was so mean to me BEFORE our children that I had to vanish.

I do not believe her stories = I am BAD, EVIL, the enemy.
He is believing ALL of her stories, so he is the hero-rescuer.

For this story, I MUST have left her BEFORE he moved in and so it is without importance what really happened.
To him she said that I moved out and he did not talk with me anymore because I am the "old mean man that tortured his wife for 15 years". And he believes it.
She finds an explanation for everything for him and he believes it.

He believes that my children SUFFER when they are with me, he tires to prevent the police speaking with me after he calls the police to keep me away from my children.

My wife explained to the police why they MISSUNDERSTAND the court's decision, even though she does not speak Spanish well and the judge and police both speak Spanish, so they UNDERSTAND very well, the policeman tried to explain to her but she would not listen...

The lover jumps between me and the two policemen to STOP me talking to them! She explains the policemen why they do not understand Spanish phrases... one could LAUGH if that was not personally affecting and no children involved.

The court and Police takes them as "extroverted strangers" and they do not understand the mental condition.

Meanwhile the farm is bankrupt, all people gone, all money spent, she did not even care for invoices and legal needs for company sales. There is so much damage in the last year, you would not believe if I told you in numbers.

So, I am not bothered by her stories, when we lived together, I liked to listen to them and tried to find kind ways to "adjust reality a bit". Sometimes it worked, sometimes it did not.

Her stories, now, are devastating, damaging, destroying because she has power over the new lover. Without his belief, she could not do that.
Actually, from my point of view, he is the one responsible for all the pain and loss, but if I tell this, as "ex-husband" I am taken as someone acting and talking out of hatred against him.

I do not hate him, but I have not expected that he would loose contact to reality SOOO fast & completely and profundly believe all that she says, but that is the reason why they could "fall in love" so fast.

Said this, I do not think that my wife "loves" as other women love. She was not my only partner, so I have some overview.

She makes the one who is good for her believe she loves him, so he stays good for her.
But in the moment of doubts that person becomes "bad for her" and she can hate the same person she made believe she loved just a couple minutes later.

She sometimes said that she might be bi-polar, she is taking sertralina because she was diagnosed manio-depressive but whenever I mention this, she denies to be insane and insists that her psychiatrist said that is is healed ( while taking the maximum dosage of sertralina every day).

Best wishes
David