Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
leomama, I think you need to understand "his" challenge better. He doesn't get back to you or respond to you in a normal way because in most cases individuals with Asperger need to be told how to respond. You have shared that you think other people are advising him and saying bad things about you. What you need to understand is that because he doesn't know how to respond to you he tends to ask others. Actually there are three different series on TV that have characters that have Asperger and in each case these characters struggle with empathy and knowing how to interact with others in relationships. There is Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory, and Young Sheldon, and The Good Doctor. Each character struggles with understanding others and having what is considered normal relationships. They are all pretty much in their own little world and it's not unusual for them to avoid interacting altogether.
Your frustration about how this individual you love is responding to you tend to lean towards you self blaming when in fact you are comparing oranges to apples. The silence isn't a game with them, instead it means they genuinely don't know how to respond. Your reasoning that you have a problem too in that you have ptsd is NOT going to change the fact that HIS problem is very different, his anger is VERY different and he is incapable of empathizing with your problem and your emotional needs.
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Yes which is why I’m not giving up on him. I corrected one of the people who was advising him , and I spoke my truth in front of another one and tried to reach out to a third.
He has both ptsd and autism so he’s quite volatile. Before things fell apart I was beginning to understand what was required of partners of aspergers and I balked. I had too much going on with my own ptsd as well as my daughter at the time to deal with it.
I really appreciate your answer. You get it. I’ve seen how children with autism act, they’re in their own world. One of my neighbors has an autistic child.
He broke the silence on Thursday through email and while it’s not nearly enough it’s better then silence. He has been silent on social media through for over a month which is very unusual for him.
Much of what I read about having a partner with aspergers warns ppl away, I’ve read that ppl with aspergers can appear narcissistic or psychopathic on the surface.
My own t would tell me I don’t need that , I should go out and enjoy life. She would tell me not to let him use me like a snack machine to get the emotional reaction he wanted. She would tell me to let him live his own life and go meet some nice man who would treat me better.
On the other hand my p doc was skeptical if my t was really helping me at all because she was only seeing me once a month.
My t thought I was doing fine and I didn’t need therapy.