It's important that you understand that even when you correct other people in how they advise him, it wont change that HE still genuinely doesn't understand what to do or how to respond to you or your needs. His calling you to get together for your birthday doesn't go as deep as you think it does. Instead it's more of him remembering that when it's someone's birthday you remember and wish them happy birthday and maybe do something nice. You see leomama, it's a task he remembers in what to do for a birthday, it's not about "love and caring", they simply don't go that deep. His brain is wired differently than yours, YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT. Your "feeling" about caring and not giving up on him? He is not capable of have that kind of "feeling", it's just not there in his wiring.