DP, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I have followed your story since I started coming here a few months ago, whenever I check in here.

The fact that you feel the desire to comfort him or take care of him in any way, and that you have felt the push and pull of so many mixed messages coming from him over time, shows that he was not a responsible therapist and that he took advantage of your caring, giving nature. I don't know the whole story, but I assume he's leaving therapy because he knows it's the wrong place for him, and he knows he has crossed the line. In my mind, you have every reason to file a complaint against him. You shouldn't have to hurt like this. A therapist shouldn't drain you like this.

Like you said about your dog, the only thing that's going to mend this loss is time. It's great that you have so many good things coming up like a class and traveling, etc. You may never forget him or how he made you feel, but in time, you won't feel the same way, and it won't be so raw, and you will have bigger and better places and people to focus your energy and your care. You have a big heart, and it deserves more than what this situation brought you.

I hope I haven't said too much, but I send my words from a place of caring, and because I know how it feels to be used in this way when you are a sensitive, giving person.