DP I definately understand what you are saying. When T moved I was so afraid she was going to retire. I feared never to talking to her again. Like you we disnt have a typical therapy relationship. There were lots of out boundaries and dual relationships. At one point she asked me to do something outside therapy and I questioned it. She apologized and said she was sorry because she was treating me ss a friend and at that point it wasnt a good idea. I always wondered if some day we would actually be friends