I am rarely around kids. I dont think about kids when I am not around them. When I am around them I have bad thoughts and they still cause me anxiety. Nothing has changed as far as that goes. I am triggered a little less. For example: shows like Law and Order SVU are less triggering but I dont know why. I am still triggered in therapy though. Like when my T told me to repeat after me and say I dont like it when you touch me that way (talking about my dad). I told her I couldnt but didnt tell her why. It just gives me a yucky feeling like when kids tell about there abuse. I dont claim to know why. Actually, I did send her an email why but I couldnt tell her in session. I did feel some kind of shift since EMDR but as far as anything with this stuff with my dad and anything changing with anything no. I was at a Christmas party this weekend and my little cousins were there. The whole party went well because I was sitting with them. I was with my sister. I didnt want to be rude and not hug my little cousins bye though. So I gave them a quick hug and then left. That was anxiety producing though. I have had these issues since I was around 8 years old. I cant imagine they will ever go away.