leomama, aspergers is on a spectrum some individuals have a harder time than others. However, they definitely DO struggle when it comes to connecting and relationships. This is what is contributing to what you "feel" are confusing messages that you have been getting from him. You keep saying you don't want to abandon him, yet he is STILL only interacting with you on a minimal level and you end up confused and clearly emotionally confused and even on a self blaming level that's not healthy for you. Then anytime something goes wrong and he goes silent it literally sends you spiraling through a loop and self blaming. He was married and struggling and you still wanted a relationship, and is he really divorced? Well who really knows, he barely communicates with you and you ended up getting badly triggered. Then you end up "confused" and desperate. This is just not healthy for you leomama.