Quote:
Originally Posted by octoberful
I have a different take on the 2 year standard--it seems to serve as more of a deterrence against going around ethics. If not for the 2 year standard, the T and client could immediately end the therapy relationship to begin a romantic relationship. Too easy to act on...In effect, the 2 year wait prevents a loop hole from being taken advantage of.
I'm not sure if the 2 year standard is universal. I kept in touch with my former long term T on a casual friendship basis after our therapy ended. It was not a deep friendship. I also had intense transference with this T and had/have unresolved issues. However, I don't think people with trauma histories have to be completely resolved to engage in a healthy relationship with another person. As long as there's some self awareness, it can work just fine, as it does in my case.
Your T seems to have many issues (telling a client about license problems is an example). I don't say this in a judgmental way, but in a sense that I'd be careful if carrying on with a relationship with him even if 2 years from now.
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He does have issues but he is human, we all do. I would not expect him to be issue free. I also know he is leaving the profession because he knows he isn't good at it anymore, and he has a lot of issues to work out, in his own therapy. Time can change, he could grow a lot, and so could I? Who knows? I would not let the fact that someone has many issues deter me from contacting them or even being friends, I would have a small crop of people to choose from otherwise
Yes, though it makes sense, in your case, did you wait the 2 years before the casual contact? I at least take SOME comfort in knowing he "liked" my dogs Facebook page and told me he will log in more regularly. I even watched him like the page. It will make me happy to know he can at least be aware when my dog eventually passes.