Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
Thank you for the nice post. I was kind of kidding with the serial killer joke but here is the point, when someone, who you know, has dead parents, and siblings who aren't close... makes a joke like that.. You find an excuse to visit. You do not keep bringing it up every time you see the person but then, not come.
When someone you know is a loner makes an attempt to trust you with something that a is hard to admit... ie.. I purchased a home so people could come visit and no one does, and all my neighbors notice this and at this point I am so desperate to have someone arrive I almost would pay someone... then you come over.
I have pretty much decided it is over. I will be making excuses for not doing things with her the next time she comes to my workplace. I am already scheduling things during lunch so I will have excuses not to go.
Thanks everyone for the support.
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You know, Emily, to me the central fact is, you WANT people to come over and see you. God Bless You. I personally don't, but you DO. There is no magic answer to this because it takes time in a new location, but have you tried inviting a person or 2 to your house? Another possibility is to approach an organization that interests you, maybe volunteer, and get to know people there? From what I have learned about forming social relationships (which since I'm a card-carrying loner is not a lot), there's a kind of rhythm to it. Maybe, you extend an invite, if they refuse you wait. Then maybe they extend an invite to you. Then after awhile you maybe try again. If they refuse personally I would give up and let them be and figure it's not happening right now. Then wait for the next opportunity. But be really patient and keep valuing yourself and the unique gift you have to give, which is: If you like them, you genuinely want them to be with you.
All the best...
