Oh Sadsack! I am so sorry for your pain. I can relate to so much of what you describe. I have lifelong anxiety and depression. I do not have Asperger's but I also feel the emptiness you describe. I also find it hard to develop close and lasting friendships. My significant other says that he thinks loneliness is a major trigger for my depression.

I'll try to give you a few tips here. Random things to try...

Can you meditate? When you feel stuck in bed, can you open a laptop and pull up some YouTube videos? Try a search for "guided meditation on depression...or loneliness or grief or emptiness." Pick whatever feeling bothering you most and I bet you can find a nice guided meditation for it. I do find that it helps. Choose a male or female voice...whichever is more comforting for you...and a duration which feels tolerable...maybe start with 2 -5 minutes and slowly build up from there. Let a kind voice tell you positive things and guide you back to peace. It is most effective if you do it every day but you might be surprised at the comfort you find if you can try it even once during this bad spell.

How are you with touch? Hyper- or hypo-sensitive or no issue? Is your significant other a hugger? Could you try asking for a big bear-hug? Your central nervous system may respond well to some intense pressure which in turn can soothe your mind. Alternatively, maybe you prefer gentle touch. Could he sit and hold your hand or stroke your arm? These small acts can help you to feel something other than numbness...feel connected and less empty.

How about acupuncture? Do you have access? It helps me. I have even dragged myself there on some days when I felt dead inside. I'm not trying to suggest any magical cure but I find it calms me or when I have felt numb (which tends to scare me) during or after the needles I was able to cry which can be such a cathartic release.

You DO matter sweet person! You ARE alive even when you don't feel like it. It's that ol' depression confusing your weary mind. I care that you feel terrible! Other folks on PC care too!

Keep telling yourself...all feelings are temporary...I will not feel like this forever...this too shall pass. Can you remember a time (even a moment) when you felt good? Try hard to remember that time. What did you see/hear/smell/feel? What were you doing? Close your eyes and imagine it now.

I believe that we are ALL connected in the Universe therefore you are never alone. And you matter just as much as me and every other being!

Please know that I have had my dark days in bed and dark nights endlessly pacing around my apartment. I know that pain and if I could make it go away for you I would. Peace and healing energy to you, sweet person. Take good care of yourself because YOU DESERVE IT!

WHAT GOES DOWN, MUST COME UP!!!