My intent is not to be critical of the way you are doing therapy, and I see it as positive that your therapy is allowing you to explore previously difficult emotions. I'm not sure of the value of expressing emotions for the sake of doing it differently, as opposed to expressing emotions in the direction of the way you want to go-- as in, openly and honestly and constructively, like a functional and healthy adult. What you're doing would definitely not work for me.

I think your frustration may lie in refusing to give up the fantasy that he's going to return to responding to your email. I think even if you had asked directly rather than "strongly implied", which may just be a euphemism for "attempt to manipulate", I doubt he would do it. He said he's not going to reply. What is different now that would change his mind, especially over email? Why not address it in session and see if you can come to a different agreement?

In my experience, my heightened or overreacting emotional state has been greatly assisted by going to a session. It seems to me that part of the learning here is to use sessions rather than emails to regulate your emotional response. Why not go to your session and talk about how you can contain your emotions? That seems like a better use of your money rather than skipping and paying for it anyway.