I think, DP, a lot of ...well, I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of my frustration comes from the fact that your posts almost always play out the same way:

You post asking for advice/insight about inching towards or achieving a non-therapeutic relationship in some context with your therapist. But, what you really seem to want is support in heading towards that goal: validation that it's an OK thing or is healthy/safe/going to work out.

You flatly reject any advice/insight that does not feed into your desire for this relationship, always provide some sort of reasoning as to why you believe that you are right and we are wrong/you are an exception to the rule, and brush off all of us who have screamed "red flag red flag! you're in danger!" often, in the process, minimizing our own experiences that have provided us with this knowledge to raise a red flag and say "something isn't right here; you are in danger."

It is incredibly frustrating to see someone in danger of getting hurt the same way I have been hurt and to not be able to prevent them from getting the same kind of hurt I have been. I don't JUDGE you, because I totally understand it - neither hell nor high water could've kept me from S back in the day, and it's taken a year and a half of separation for me to be able to finally listen to others telling me "you are in danger."

So, I get it...and I truly do not judge you. I worry for you, fear for you, and hurt for you...and it can come out in ways that make you feel judged -- but my judgement is at your therapist, not at you. That said, I'm honestly relieved your therapist is saying "no contact," and I hope he sticks to it. Because even though this hurts, and I am incredibly sorry that it does, I think you could and likely would end up far more hurt if he was maintaining contact/attempting an immediate friendship.