So far, I've come to the conclusion that "fixing" my younger selves isn't about fixing anything, its about coming to a shared way of working within the system so all can be heard and felt cared for so... practice and time? This all sounds good and everything, my younger selves haven't/don't believe adult me either. I do think things are getting better there. I am trying to get my younger selves to trust adult me by listening more often to the things that they are excited about when I can and acknowledging without justifying the things they are upset about. I try hard not to rationally or logically talk to these parts about what they are upset about or what they want (the whys). I try (and this is taking practice and I'm far from successful at it) to hear them and let them have what they can have.

I am sorry that your T is not allowing the phone calls in moments of distress. If she has a separate office phone, perhaps she would allow you to call and just listen to her greeting? My T uses a cell phone as her office phone so that didn't work out too well for me.

I think there is also a part of getting to the place that not getting something you feel you need from someone doesn't mean they don't love you. (yep another thing I have to get to)

I'm sorry this is hard for you. Vacations/holidays suck. I'll be 2 weeks, missing 5 sessions. The longest I have gone without seeing her for the last 2 years has been 7 days and that was only once. Usually the most we go is 5 days as we also do video visits. As of now, that won't be happening this break.