Sometimes, a lot of the time, actually, I feel like meds have been a blessing & a curse. They mostly keep me stable, but at the loss of my creativity, my writing, and my art, even coming up with simple storage solutions like I bought I new dish for the kitchen and don't know where to put it (galley kitchen in my house). H usually has to come up with the solution. Are these psych meds making me an idiot? On top of it, I am super forgetful, which I guess could be mixed BP, but you know the saying, "If my head wasn't attached to my body, I'd forget it." That's pretty much me. Especially today. Today the forgetfulness was so bad, jumping task to task, maybe that's mania, racing thoughts.

Though still I feel like my IQ has nose-dived. I was high school valedictorian, I graduated with one B and all A's with a B.S. in Microbiology, minor in chemistry, better grades than most pre-med students, and I went to a very large university. Got an M.S. in Cell & Molecular Biology, got a journal article published. Now, I can read my article and barely understand it despite the fact I did all the research for it and run and re-ran those experiments until it felt like I could do them in my sleep. If I try to read a biochemistry book, it might as well be Greek. Now I have days where I'm typing and can't even remember how to spell words like "such", and I have always been a good speller; not knowing how to spell "such" is really a low. My daughter could spell that in kindergarten.

Is is bipolar that is making me slow at times, the meds, a combo? It has been a nightmare lately (stress, maybe making it worse?)