Hi David,

I have dealt with narcissistic personality disorder. In fact, I had a relative who was both paranoid and narcissistic. I could not tell her anything in private because she would try to read my thoughts and twist the story around. Your wife sounds like she is both narcissistic and paranoid. Unless she reaches out for help, there is not a whole lot you can do. You sound like you are better off without her.

According to an article from Psychology Today, she sounds like a vulnerable narcissist. My mother-in-law was one of those. She might also have paranoid personality disorder. I dealt with my mother-in-law by forgiving her all the time and having as little as possible to do with her. Those articles might be helpful for you. I wish you the best.