I am finding the type of deep breathing where you massage right below your collar bones to work quite well. I find it much more grounding than just trying to focus on deep breathing which doesn't tend to work that great for me, most likely due to quickly getting distracted. I am randomly ruminating and getting anxious and filled with dread but fortunately it's now under control.
I am having difficulties with the obsessive thoughts. Also, I don't think I ever mentioned this here but this past year I have been processing the fact that a mentor of mine at a job from a few years back was actually trying to manipulate and lying to me and everyone else. I noticed what I thought were some lies, but I didn't realize the extent and also thought maybe she was a bit forgetful or had the wrong info. It also made me question if I even remembered the story correctly. I mean I know sometimes people occasionally lie, but this was different. She really acted like she was supporting me during a really tough position I had taken on, but now I realize she saw my "weakness" and targeted me. It makes me feel very confused and I am struggling to come to terms with this realization and losing trust in myself and others.

In other news I am eating a lot of chocolate haha. A neighbor handed me a box this morning as I left for work as a holiday present. It was nice to be thought of.

Sending hugs to those who want them!