Thanks for all the kind words folks. They are much appreciated. As it happens, at the moment i'm sorta oscillating back and forth between feeling sorta good and feeling sorta bad.. at least no extremes for now. I think the seroquel may be helping to keep me from swinging too far either way. The only problem with that stuff is how much I am sleeping, i.e. way too much. But I geuss I can't complain, it's a whole lot better than the uncontrollable extremes I was experiencing.

There have been a few exceptions to the more level mood I have been in, though. First, there are these nasty rages I have been flying into lately. Not just angry, but the "standing in the street screaming" type. The other day, I was trying to get a check cashed without having to deposit it in my account (to prevent having to wait to access the funds) and my bank referred me to the bank the check was issued from. When I got there I was told they would not cash it unless I had an account, and in order to open an account I would have to make an appointment. I flipped out. Went totally apes**t. The only thing that stopped me from causing some major property and physical damage was fear of being arrested. I finally just left but came very close to smashing the glass door on the way out, but again, held back to avoid getting locked up. It's the second such time I've flipped out like that lately and it has me a bit worried. Ok, a lot worried. Unfortunately, my first appointment with a therapist got cancelled because of the last storm we had so I still haven't seen him. I'm interested in hearing what you folks think of that. There was also a time when I rounded a corner in my apartment, coming into the living room, and for a split second thought I saw someone sitting in the chair at my computer. It scared the absolute living daylights out of me even though I realized very quickly that there was no one there.