On the original issue, my spouse's death in his late 40's was hard on all his same age friends; in our circle no one had died or been seriously ill. I think it felt like a little too close to home and made them concerned for their own mortality and examined what it would mean to leave their family behind. So they started going to their medical checkups (and one discovered a benign tumor and had it removed about a year later, that he said he would never have sought medical help for but he promised my H he would have it checked out). They also bought more life insurance.

On the texting, I'd really encourage you to realize how difficult cancer treatment is and how people can have just so little precious energy they can't necessarily deal with responding at all. Kindly, I'd say that perhaps your T who is facing her mortality if not soon, in a different way than most of us, might find it difficult and stressful even if she's physically feeling well (which I doubt). It seems a bit insensitive to ask her to help you with this as she is recovering from a serious, life threatening illness. And this person dying is not an emergency and although I can understand wanting to talk to her about it, I'd suggest it would be better if you could rely on your partner and social network for support. Perhaps you could benefit from some kind of temporary T who could provide additional support.

But that many texts in such a short period of time does suggest that your anxiety was increasing and it seems like a good idea to stop it. I understand that this feels like a punishment, having something taken away, but it doesn't seem like there is any argument that this is good for you or for her. Perhaps it could be better described as the natural consequences of going over a line.