Oh I've felt like that at times especially back in the bad ole days when the Pdocs were throwing ADs at me which just put me into mixed episodes. Somewhere along the bumpy road I got education and refused to switch wildly nilly and insisted on going off everything and limiting meds to one at a time. Found out ADs are a no no for me and I'm on one AP and 2 add ons. Works for me and I'm scared of possible consequences if I go off, like roller coster moods and delusional thinking.