On the original issue, my spouse's death in his late 40's was hard on all his same age friends; in our circle no one had died or been seriously ill. I think it felt like a little too close to home and made them concerned for their own mortality and examined what it would mean to leave their family behind. So they started going to their medical checkups (and one discovered a benign tumor and had it removed about a year later, that he said he would never have sought medical help for but he promised my H he would have it checked out). They also bought more life insurance.

On the texting, I'd really encourage you to realize how difficult cancer treatment is and how people can have just so little precious energy they can't necessarily deal with responding at all. Kindly, I'd say that perhaps your T who is facing her mortality if not soon, in a different way than most of us, might find it difficult and stressful even if she's physically feeling well (which I doubt). It seems a bit insensitive to ask her to help you with this as she is recovering from a serious, life threatening illness. And this person dying is not an emergency and although I can understand wanting to talk to her about it, I'd suggest it would be better if you could rely on your partner and social network for support. Perhaps you could benefit from some kind of temporary T who could provide additional support.

But that many texts in such a short period of time does suggest that your anxiety was increasing and it seems like a good idea to stop it. I understand that this feels like a punishment, having something taken away, but it doesn't seem like there is any argument that this is good for you or for her. Perhaps it could be better described as the natural consequences of going over a line.

On the texting, I'd really encourage you to realize how difficult cancer treatment is------------------------------------------
SO,now you're judging me, assuming I don't know how difficult cancer treatment is? My late mother had 2 kinds of cancer, my late niece had leukemia, my godmother had breast cancer, my mother-in-law had breast cancer, a co-worker had breast cancer, a dear friend from church has breast cancer that has metastasized into every organ of her body...should I go on?

and how people can have just so little precious energy they can't necessarily deal with responding at all.-------------------------------------------------------
MY T s not having chemotherapy or radiation. They simply removed four or five organs and a few lymph nodes, which were negative for cancer. In her case, once they removed the cancer in one organ and removing the organ itself, and removing the other organs near it was a precaution. Then they did some other things to her. I KNOW how difficult, painful, and exhausting these kinds of things can be; I don't have cancer, but I do have Sarcoidosis, chronic illness: pain, sweating, etc., lungs which will NEVER be normal again, watching some friends who have it fading away and dying, while others live with it for 30 years. In order to make my diagnosis, after many different types of scans, they finally had to do a VATS open lung biopsy, which is as uncomfortable as it sounds.

Kindly, I'd say that perhaps your T who is facing her mortality if not soon, in a different way than most of us, might find it difficult and stressful even if she's physically feeling well (which I doubt).-------------------------------------
Kindly?
I KNOW that this is stressful for her; it would be for anyone.

It seems a bit insensitive to ask her to help you with this as she is recovering from a serious, life threatening illness.-----------------------------
YES, DO remind me of how guilty I feel, asking for help! That's really supportive!

And this person dying is not an emergency and although I can understand wanting to talk to her about it, I'd suggest it would be better if you could rely on your partner and social network for support.---------------------------

WEll, I have started reaching out to friends, both online and off.

Perhaps you could benefit from some kind of temporary T who could provide additional support.-------------------------------------------------------
No. I am seeing a Pdoc, and he is talking with me a bit and he manages my meds. I don't feel warmth from him, although he has offered therapy if I want it. My T also suggested another T she practices with, but I don't want a transference with anyone else! I've been with this T for about 30 years.

But that many texts in such a short period of time does suggest that your anxiety was increasing and it seems like a good idea to stop it. I understand that this feels like a punishment, having something taken away, but it doesn't seem like there is any argument that this is good for you or for her. Perhaps it could be better described as the natural consequences of going over a line.--------------------------------------------------------------------------

YES, but SHE drew the line, and then SHE erased it. She didn't even come out and apologize. She just took it away because it was having a negative effect on me. Well, taking it away is far, far worse.