Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessica11
Time.
It's not until you've had plenty of experiences of T coming and going that this changes.
My first year with T I spent a whole session sulking.
My anger was boiling.
Now yrs on her breaks are a nice thing. I enjoy the free time. And I'm secure in myself that she's still there.
It's as our adult self grows that the healing happens.
Takes years. But it happens bit by bit.
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This is so true and I can relate to the adult self growing.
I’m on a short break with my t because of the holidays. He let me know a couple of weeks ago that it would be a 2 week break at the end of that session. I can still remember the feeling after he told me.
I was actually ok and it surprised me that I was. I thought about it for a minute and I kind of felt “more grown” and I shared that with him. I told him that when we first started working through all of this I kind of panicked when something came up and we couldn’t talk for a week. I told him that it felt really good to feel “ok” and not panicky.
It does take time and I know that’s not a consolation to the OP when you’re in a place that doesn’t feel good.
ETA: I didn’t bring out the point that it was you get parts of me that we were working with that had come forward that were feeling the panic. It has taken that time for them to trust the grown up part of me to handle things or rest in the part that comes forward and handles hard things.