I've been stuck in one, thought I might be getting out but not yet just more of the same. I have racing thoughts, no self-esteem, doubt myself all the time, I need to do this, I need to do that, some hypersexuality, depressed about my weight and the number on the scale, I need to run to lose weight, I end up running 10 miles (think the length of the run is partly due to mania, around 4 miles of running helps with anxiety beyond that is just eating disorder stuff, also dissociation (like my life is a movie. or that I just am, but I'm not controlling my body but the depressed part of me likes the dissociation; the eating disorder loves the calorie burn). I hate my life, wish I would die in my sleep at night (passive suicidal thoughts, I was told). Some times sad, crying spells, sometimes mania & depression practically on top of each other. Probably you can see from this post what my days are like. If I start talking, I can't seem to filter it, and it is stream of consciousness talking that is not empathetic of others, and it's been my husband and daughter having to listen to that. A lot of the time, I talk & and add stuff in there like chores I did that were completely normal and no reason to talk about.

It's frustrating and it sucks. I have been this way since the end of March.