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Originally Posted by nottrustin
It is more that she has said something from a very different perspective than the past. So after processing it creates more questions. Has anybody dealt with this??An I doing something wrong. One of the things we discussed is that we both are protectionists and hate making mistakes. So wondering if I should let the comment go and if the occasion arises again say something then
Left the appointment in a good place then I got home and was reading a nonfiction book I have been really enjoying. Then she brings up her CSA and abandonment and the effect it had on her even as and adult. Her story was so similar to mine it was eerie. Holy trigger....16 days to hold it together, keep my happy face on and not allow it to effect my holidays.
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I'm not sure if this is in the neighborhood of what you are talking about, but I have definitely had that sense of having more questions as things are worked through. I wonder, in different ways, what did T mean by that? And T makes it very easy through his nondefensiveness, and his considerate thoughtfulness for my experience, to ask questions about things he's said where I am not entirely sure what they mean. And I have learned that when I'm in a session that is high on emotionality, I often hear things in distorted ways without even realizing it, then we discuss it again and somehow I feel he's in a different place about it, and I wonder about that. Sometimes it is that I am in a different place and so I hear it differently.
I have my own version of being impacted by CSA and other forms of trauma I hear about from the people I work with. My career has been a long desensitization (25 years) to triggers of abuse. But sometimes what I hear and sometimes what I read still feels like it stops my breath with its sorrow and pain. It feels like a reminder that what I went through was really difficult. It feels right, like I'm owning my memories and feelings. It will get a lot better for you.