Dear overcoimgthis,

I don't agree with "fake it until you make it." I went into my marriage with low self-esteem and low respect for myself. Thanks to joining CoDA, I learned to love myself and to respect myself. I was able to give to others, but I was focusing on other people's needs instead of my own. With help of a therapist or a support group, it is possible to learn to love yourself. In my situation, having a relationship with a Higher Power also helps.