Thanks, the system is broken. Many systems if not almost all. I watched Eat Pray Love last night to just use my DBT skills and distract. I don't have a TV so it was something I had on my old laptop, which I hardly remember the plot of. It turns out to be a good choice, though the person was not having the serious issues at the same basic level of existence. The emotions were closer and the healer in the movie that she helps is more like where I am. At some point I had a strong feeling that I could no longer allow my situation to even continue let alone escalate. I did have a therapy session and realized too that there are really deep reasons why such things have happened over time and that I have not stopped them, accepted them as somehow normal, accepted blame when it wasn't my fault, and will need a strong therapist to recover, or even see that I deserve to have the basics of human rights and existence. In that way, the therapy is essential. Yes, I need food and legal advice, protection and a whole lot of services, but I can only ask for such things if I believe I am entitled as a human being. If I have never experienced that, I can't.

It's such a hard thing for so many to understand, yet I know so many either on the streets or in other countries who know exactly what I mean.


Not all of us are allowed the existence all humans are born with. Many are denied it, if not most, and we are seeing more of that in this country, but I know it from other places and other people.

Someone once said we are born with a passport. For many it is taken away by schools and teachers training and culture parents and pressures. At some point many of us forget we ever had one, a birthright, but very few of us have the courage to reapply to get a new passport.