but right now I'm just imaging being wrapped in your arms and held and part of me really really wants that
I know it's absolutely out of the question and i would no longer trust you if you did that
I would probably angrily storm out of your office if you offered.

I would be too ashamed to admit this to you.
Have you been able to figure out that this is the kind of thing I'm talking about when I talk about my intense longing to be comforted?

I wish you'd ask me if that's the kind of want I'm alluding to. That would normalize it in a way and I would be able to admit to it, albeit still with a great deal of shame. It would make it feel less taboo or like the idea is so shameful and disgusting that it would never even occur to you. That you would find the very notion horrifying or disgusting. That you would feel like I'd somehow done something wrong by even thinking it.