Hi Lying heart. Your feelings are your feelings. It is never wrong to feel something. Before I read in your post that your father was a violent alcoholic, I thought to myself, reading your post title and post, "I bet this person had / has an alcoholic family member that affected them." It sounds pretty common, your reaction to your partner's drinking, to be honest. Especially with your history. I think a lot of people who have alcoholics close to them, cannot stand it. My father is an alcoholic and I could not stand when he would even just crack open a beer can. The sound literally made me feel pissed and rageful. I didn't want to be around him.

Just wondering if you're in therapy. Therapy could help you sort out your thoughts and feelings about this with your partner.

I think that this could be a deal breaker for you, or it might not be. I don't know. I'm not you. It does sound like you are distressed over it (your partner drinking) though. I'm sorry I'm not sure what else to say atm. I guess I can't give you further answers on what you "should" do. But I wish you well and I hope I was able to normalize your feelings.