My mother died about 5 years ago and I could not have cared less. Somebody in an old email group made the following statement in response to her family who told her she'd be sorry she didn't reach out/kiss and make up/make an effort in her relationship with her dying parent etc.:

"My mother died a long time ago."


That's how I viewed my mother's passing. She was not a nice person, but very good at camouflaging the fact. Serious, soul-destroying abuse happened in private on me in particular. Through the years, with help, I had distanced myself from her...but when your mother is your primary abuser, there's only so much imo distance you can get, even if you never see her again...


You don't miss someone like that, it's not in our nature to miss a torment when it goes away.