Frequent alcohol consumption doesn't fit my lifestyle, either.

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I don't read you claiming that your partner is anything like your father, but I do read you saying that you want to live in a healthy environment. I get that studies go back and forth regarding daily consumption, at the same time, it's daily consumption and for a chunk of time each night you have an absent partner so to speak. Certainly, there's a slight inebriation? And in my opinion that is "absent" not wholly present time. And for those immediate moments when they come home, life centers around that bottle or can. To me that is less about projection and more about lifestyle.