Hi Divine1966

She was living with us as a friend, just from the beginning, the children liked her (and still like her) very much from the first day - and unlike to all before - I took about 1-2 hours every evening, when the children slept, to talk with her and not let the stories of my wife create trouble.

When we decided to become partners, that means her staying as part of the family "without the idea of leaving", for the children nothing changed but they were happy that she would stay with us.

And it took many more months until sex came into the game, but I do not think the small children noticed or cared; my wife told my daughter that her first partner has been a girl.

We have been living as three adults and four children, and with my father living unter the same address, and some months later the father of our partner joined and started to become care-person for my father, who needs care because of his physical condition.

Usually, people perceived us a "happy big family" and some would not know that our partner was more than a friend or nanny.

The problem was that thanks to her, the stories of my wife more and more came into my awareness as manipulative lies and I stopped believing her, hearing what she told to our partner, and started to check the information she spread.

So my wife, loosing her main "Believer" (me) looked for one of our workers, who was single, no kids, naive and caring enough and when I noticed his coming closer to my wife, and talked with him, he was already under her control and would not react to me. He said he would not interfere with my family, but did exactly this and told me it's not his opinion that we spilt up. It was months later that I understood that he simply believes every word and thus had to interfere to "save" my wife and our children from the evil.

Now, there are no workers and the company is bankrupt, no invoices made for sales, other invoices unpaid, my wife and her lover simply did act as if there were no laws and regulations. Reality does not count...

The point of getting divorced is that it's not just "divorce" but decision about child-custody and money as well.
Besides, naturally, my wife told her lawyer that I have fortunes somewhere and so she wants money (that I do NOT have).

On the other hand we have a common company and she created a mess in that and I want the court to make me NOT be responsible for her actions in and all the problems she created in the company.

One can be divorced within weeks, here, if both agree, but when there is a heap of problems with unclear cause, things go slow. So, I had the hope I could find ways how to help her to admit.
That would make things go faster.

Her lover simply believes her and creates lot of trouble as well, calling police, accusing before court, so that creates so much files and papers as well, instead of trying to find a pragmatic way for fast divorce, he blocks any development where my partner and I could spend time with my children.

He thinks the children must be only with my wife because she tells him that they are suffering when with me.
He can hold back my son crying that he wants to go to me, lock him up so he cannot go to me, and feel as the saviour who defends my son!

And no one can convince him of the nonsense of such thoughts and problems of such actions.
He does not talk with me or anyone I know. Any message I send him, as polite and friendly it may be, he leaves unreplied and most likely not even dares to read and instead passes to my wife to read it for him and explain to him what I wanted to say...

Best wishes
David