I have not visited family for the holidays in over 10 years now and at this point I don’t have any left that I would visit. But when I used to spend the end of year with my parents (who were not annoying and dramatic usually) I would typically stay in their house 3-4 days around Xmas and spend the rest of the week in a hotel meeting old friends or traveling. My parents would have liked me to stay longer but that was enough for me. Back in my childhood they sometimes fought with each-other and then would not speak for a day just before Xmas but I learned pretty early as a kid not to engage in that and not to let it affect my mood much. Usually they would make peace by Xmas Eve and then all was fine. As an adult, I would definitely not allow FOO to spoil the days when I wanted to relax and/or control me in any way although that was never really a problem even in my childhood. I think keeping firm boundaries helps - others cannot mess with that if I don’t let them. It can also be good to let them know what my time, space and emotional boundaries are. I think it is still not late for this year to start implementing something like that and maybe plan it next year.