I haven't done holidays with my family of origin for a long time, because distance from them is important to my sanity. But I'm spending some time with my in-laws right now, and my therapist was chock full of advice for that (so much so that I kind of suspect he was gearing up for a similar holiday experience, since advice that level of giving is somewhat out of character for him).

He strongly supported renting a car and planning out some solo time for me, and couple time for me and my partner. He also suggested trying to get some distance from the difficulties of the experience internally, by working to self-reflect about what patterns of mine were being recreated and what buttons were being pushed, and why, when things got difficult. Also giving myself permission to bow out of things or withdraw as needed.

Good luck--I know if I were with my family of origin right now my mental health would be taking a huge nosedive, so try to be kind to yourself about whatever ways you're reacting.