growly, do you have somewhere away from family that you can go when you need a respite from them?

Hugs.

Why go when it's painful or not enjoyable? I spent a decade without contact with my FOO and it was good for breaking automatic patterns and getting a handle on my healing from CSA. Then my mother came to me for reconciliation and that was good too. I found like I could relate to them as the adult person I was and who they were now; the dynamics were completely different. Now a decade later I'm glad they are in my life, we are far from close but love was never the issue. But I think everyone is more conscientious of what you say and do, and there is very little drama.