Going back up a couple of posts, you are entirely right about boundary negotiations resonating with deep-seated feelings. It was a surprise to me because recently my boundary negotiations have been amicable and trusting. I forgot that "trusting" other people - at least in so far as assuming they aren't generally interested in harming me because they like me enough to feel that being on my side is more enjoyable than being against me - it's a new experience given the aeons that I've experienced fight or flight behaviours.

I am still feeling the inner rumblings of having shut down my metal portcullis so precipitously.

Nouns are important for thinking. Giggle! I do foreign language teaching, not my profession but I find it exciting and pleasurable. I've taught people who don't know the difference between a noun and a verb in any language: words are just a foggy spume, or spewm, that comes out of the mouth of them and their families. I love teaching people like that because once up and running they tell interesting stories. But I've learned that nouns and verbs are critical to filtering through ideas and new languages - another laugh.

I have pocketed your point about grandious generalities, but I believe that there are real differences between city and countryside which come from the frictions of mass populations vs insularity. I've lived in the countryside 3 times in my life: two periods when I enjoyed it and once when it was like being dug into a deep, dark pit with unhealthy people . I nearly became a drug addict because that was what was going on around me. At that time it was a good idea to escape back to the city where I could move fluidly between any number of groups socially.

I am still thinking that social friction is important to me up to a point. There are cities where I've experienced both human respect and social friction, but I'm not sure that I can afford to move to them. Homes in cities are much more expensive than homes in the countryside so there can be not affording to move back again if it's a bad decision.

I am reflecting on what you wrote and will look up the Golden Boy play that you suggested. Do tell me more!

And thanks again for you kind understanding and for offering to talk by messaging!!! I may do that. Am just holding myself temporarily aloof from messaging because I'm new here and, umm, had one bad experience of messaging.

You made a hugely helpful contribution to my process by understanding about the resonances of boundaries. I felt such a freak for having such a strong reaction - my nervous system erupting with potent chemicals.

Saidso