Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
I just find the entire expression her problem not theirs...well...demeaning.
It's his problem too if he's unable to do more than say it is all about her having grown up in an alcoholic environment. And stubbornly saying this is me and this is how it's going to be. If every stinking night he comes home and heads to the bottle to unwind then how is that not their problem?
Yes, living in an environment of alcoholism shapes perception of what one does and does not want. And the OP needs to evaluate the future.
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I agree.
I also have to say that I do not agree that not wanting one’s partner get buzzed nightly is only because one grew up with alcoholics. I grew up in a family and in environment were daily drinks are unheard of. People might have glass of wine at a party. I can’t imagine my dad chugging alcohol after work. So my lack of desire to be around drinking nightly isn’t due to my exposure to it.
If one doesn’t NEED daily drinks then why does one do it? If I do something daily it’s because it’s very important to me. If it’s no big deal why does he do it daily as opposed to just occasional social activity? I don’t know if OP plans on having children with this man but I surely would advice against it.
Also amount of alcohol doesn’t make one an alcoholic. Needing it (and daily consumption is a sign of likely a need) to “unwind, feel better, relax, have more fun” makes it a problem. Not the amount of it.