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Old Dec 24, 2018, 10:42 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,226
Relationships and marriages are way more complicated than “people doing whatever the heck they want and if other person doesn’t like it they should leave”.

Fundamental values shouldn’t change such as I’d not change my religion or political affiliation or family values for example or give up my career.

However if the person isn’t an adddict (I do question that though) chugging spirits every night isn’t really a fundamental value.

If everything is a life style and nothing can be ever compromised so should people never ask other person to pick trash after themselves? After all, sloppiness might be their life style. Or should one expect their partner to take shower before sex or messy person has their rights to be filthy? Or stink of alcohol in bed? (Wonder if OP likes intimacy with buzzed smelling of alcohol person, likely not). Being uncomfortable is a valid concern. People should be comfortable around each other.

By this logic nothing should be ever discussed in a relationship. You’d never ever sustain long term relationship or marriage with this logic. It just doesn’t work this way

Now if OP says she discussed it and the person says he isn’t interested in any changes and will be drinking daily regardless of any concerns or just gets mad about it or whatnot then certainly it’s a sign that it’s time to move on. Expecting one’s partner to be clearheaded isn’t an unusual expectation. It’s not like he is expected to betray some deep meanhful value. If he isn’t willing to consider it then of course no need to waste time on this relationship.