For me, it didn't dawn on me that my early childhood centered around alcohol until I was going through my marital struggles. My exh was certainly downing more than just a drink or two. After my parents had divorced when I was 10 alcohol lost its presence in my homelife. Dad stopped all together and then when my stepdad got sick when I was 12, they too stopped drinking. I also spent many weekends and vacations with my maternal grandparents from an early age earlier than the divorce and alcohol was a rarity there.
When I married, I was ill equipped to recognize that my functioning husband who woke up early and went to work each and everyday had a problem if that makes sense? One day after getting the kids to bed I looked and realized how not present he truly was at home. Going out would not be an option because he had settled in already. Alcohol was a limiting presence in the home. And it was a lonely feeling too. Plus his underlying mood disorder was no better the next day as he sobered up.

When I say ill equipped to understand his functioning it's because I had an aunt and two uncles on my paternal side that were not functioning for their addictions and alcoholism.