I usually feel bad for T or other clients because I use up the entire hour. When there is someone before me and they leave giving T more than 5 mins, I feel bad and wish I could be like them and leave on time. When I see someone waiting after me, I feel bad that I didn't give T time to do anything between sessions and I feel bad for the other client because of usually being right at the hour if not a min or 2 over. T tells me repeatedly that it is her job to manage the time. Still, leaving is hard for me. It has gotten better in that I hardly ever cry now as I am leaving (just because it is time to go).

I don't mind that my T has other clients as long as my hour is my hour and that I feel like she is there with me. I often wonder about other clients, why they are there, how my T is with them, and so on.

My T allows us to leave things in her office so when something is different I often wonder if I am seeing something of T or something of another client.

As far as tissue goes, it's the trash can, that is where the tissue goes. For me, I think I'd feel like, 'see, I'm not the only one that cries in session'. I know I'm not. Sometimes it feels like I cry a lot. I don't recall if I've seen much in the trash before. I think there has only been a few times I've left tissue there and not taken it with me. There is another trash can near the outer door and I often dispose of my tissue in that can.

oh, and T and I usually talk all the way up until I close her door behind me. It is small talk, wishing each other well and see you the next time type of statements.