[QUOTE=trance;6377341]What I'd like to know is...

Oh Trance. What a sad truth you shared here. I am sorry that happened to you. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and at this point I don't really expect anything from them. I just try to keep some sort of basic peace with them.

As for friends, my issue maybe is a bit similar to yours? I am not a tech person so no similarity there but I'm a healthcare professional and family members and friends have consulted with me regularly (for free). I'm naturally a nurturer and I used to have friends often calling for advice and support when they were struggling (including late at night...my fault I know for not setting better boundaries). For a while, I was glad to help until I realized that it was increasingly tiring for me and those folks tended to disappear at fun times or times when I could have used some support for myself.

I don't hold it against them. They are who they are...they each have their own backgrounds and drives and reasons why they act as they do...just like the rest of us humans. I can't change anyone; nor would I want to try. I put my energy into changing how I respond to people around me. Recently, I took a step back and re-evaluated goals for myself. A therapist told me that I am choosing those sorts of people to be friends with. Maybe that seems obvious but it blew my mind! I don't know what you think about that? Does that help your perspective at all? Or were you referring only to family members in your message? Family is family of course; we didn't choose them. But the friend selection factor is interesting.

Your McDonald's story was poignant. I am sorry that happened to you. I can't imagine sending a guest at my home (expected or not) out for fast-food instead of sharing a meal but that's just me.

May 2019 bring you new opportunities, peace, and unconditional love. You deserve that Trance

Be well,

"Hope"