I agree with StopDog in some ways- that we know a persona of the T only for quite a while ( or only) .

Also, I don't think my T knows me as well as my partner in real life, though he knows more secrets and the places that need healing. He knows less about my strengths in the real world.

In a long psychodynamic or psychoanalytical therapy though, the authentic presence of both people is required, or the whole thing tanks into impasse or enactments. You see your T is rigid or generous, forgiving or holds petty grudges, creates a language with you and speaks in it and you create that language too with T and you speak in it.

In something like Relational Psychoanalysis, there is definitely room for love in that Martin Buber I/thou sense in moments in their literature.

For me though, maybe I am a touch cynical, but I think most feelings of love really do have a romantic /sexual component once they are preoccupying in adults. I understand transference can be parental etc, but transference isn't love.

Mature, sustained love in the outside world isn't ever likely to happen, though in my town is a psychiatrist who married his patient two decades ago. If there is that ineffable physical chemistry on top of the intimate moments, it really is a choice . Love might be in the offing, but outside the room are marriages , ethic boards, children, real lives. It is impossible but possible for T's to love a client, but just rarely, not everyone and some not even one.

In the show In Treatment, you can see the personal life of Paul tanks, and then he entertains the notion he loves his client. Dr. Andrea Celenza studies and treats therapists who are "lovesick" and make breeches of boundaries . She has a real set of circumstances that usually prefigure that. Middle aged male, getting divorced, needs met through client- but a true feeling of love within his awareness. She separates this one time offense from predatory T's etc.

I don't think that is love either.

Love is a feeling, but acting on love is a relationship that isn't therapy anymore. Therapy is all about holding feelings up to the light in words and body language without acting them out.

I think a therapist can feel love, but can't act on it; and the patient too.

Saying that, most of the time , T's have too much distance and objectivity to love most patients.