Yikes! That is sad. I've even seen interviews with parents of notorious killers saying they still love their child, even though they are disgusted by what they have become etc.

It makes sense what you say but for me, I don't feel love from my parents, or any family. I thought I did growing up because I believed it was "automatic" to love your family... but then I realized, it was only ever rarely said with conditions... and it was never really shown. I feel more of a burden or disgrace to my family. Someone they "deal" with because they feel obligated to and honestly, I am the same for them. I don't love them, at all. I've even openly said to my T... I wont be sad if they die.

Everyone views love differently and that's ok but it's also why i don't think people should freak out so much about client/T love... it's not some weird or gross thing. This "transference" thing is annoying because people say it's in all relationships but it's only a focus in T.... but I see T as a human, no better than me.... and I always have. It's maybe why I see things so differently than others in the relationship.

I've always been an observer.... and I watch people on TV and movies who say "they love" someone and how they act VS what they say.... and then in reality. I watch dogs... just showing love blindly... to them there is no one "unworthy" and really there shouldn't be. We all deserve and need love, from someone.

Why did my dog mean more to me than any person I've ever met? Simple. He loved me. He never had to tell me... he obviously can't... but he showed me, every day. I never questioned it. I knew it... he didn't care how crappy life was, or how much my family had belittled me, he didn't care that my friends were walking away from me and that I had wanted to end my life, he was just there... in his own way, reminding me... "Hey, I love you, you deserve it, don't ask why, just accept it" I once read someone about why dogs have shorter lives than other animals and people.... and it was something about how they are here to teach us about love.

When I first "told" T in writing that I loved him, I compared it to my dog. He understood instantly what I was getting at, because for me, it's the only real love I've ever known..... until T showed me a human version of it.

Now this Christmas, I'm without both of them.... feeling so much love for them deep within even though they are both gone right now. I have my other dog, sitting near me on my bed as I type this, he's also showing love... by existing and being there when I need it most. Dogs are far more amazing then most humans give them credit for, they read us so beautifully