Some of you may know the story about my "clingy" neighbor; and old lady who's life was filled with abuse starting with her caregivers, her husbands (2) and all six of her children.

At first, I felt great compassion for her and was there for her whenever and for whatever. That is, until I started feeling dread as I approached her house as I was walking my dog. She always expected me to stop and "have a cigarette" with her. It was usually hours before I could get away and continue my dog's walk.

Then she started coming over and either asking if she could borrow a CARTON of cigarettes or if she could buy one and pay for it by check. For hours on end I would listen to how she was bouncing checks all over the place and was always in the red because of overdaft fees.

It got to the point where I would avoid her street and there have been times I haven't answered the door when she comes and knocks on it.

My anger level has been going steady upward. All I have to do is look at her house and I start swearing under my breath.

A couple of days ago, she was sitting on her porch facing her wall LOL and I tried to go right on by. I heard her whistle but I kept going. Sorry, but I have a name and she knows what it is! A couple of blocks away, my cell phone rings but I don't answer it. It rings again and I still don't answer. There are two messages left. I pick them up and it's her. One to tell me that her phone is working again... SO? and the other I only listened to the first sentence "WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME????" That was it! I deleted both messages and swore under my breath and trembled for the rest of the walk with my dog. Poor baby knew there was something wrong because she, too, stopped enjoying her sniffing and running around. She stayed by my chair and kept looking at me like "What did I do, Mommy?"

I stewed and fretted for a couple of days. There was no way I was going to call her or go by, but I had to say something because what I was doing wasn't working.

I finally took out a greeting card that I had in reserve and wrote her a note leaving out most of the real reasons why I can't be her friend anymore. I did mention her angry call and told her that I felt guilt unnecessarily. My reasons were mostly that I don't have time to socialize anymore since I'm starting up a business out of my home and that I'm sorry that I can't live up to her EXPECTATIONS of me!

The real truth is that she's demanding and manipulative and makes me feel like she's putting me in a box of her own design! It's no wonder I was tempted from time to time to call her "mama". <-- frustration, the anger is separate

Somehwere in the last month or so I've come to realize that I still do have triggers left over from the years that I had my mother. She would manipulate me, too. She'd "throw guilt" with the best of them! She'd restrain me physically and emotionally. NO MORE!! NO MORE!!!!! I'm an old woman and I've earned my independence and my freedom! I give it up to a Very Select Few of My Own Free Will and it sure as hell ain't my neighbor! %#@&amp;#! ^*&amp;$ #$%&amp;* #@&amp;#! #$%^ %% @%#@&amp;#! #!&amp;#*!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Oh, geez!! It's a relief to get it out but I'm shaking again.

If you've read this far, I admire you. Thank you so very much. Now... what is it I'm supposed to do to relax?