I'm so sorry, boogiesmash I know how you feel. Please don't give up. It doesn't have to stay this way forever. I think you can still find the right person for you... many people meet their soulmate when they're 40 or older. So there's always hope. I think you need to work on yourself first though. Learn to be happy with yourself, find a purpose, maybe some hobbies. I know it's not easy, but I believe that's important before getting involved in any relationship. You can do this! Feel free to share and vent here. I'll listen to what you have to say. I care about you. Sending many hugs to you