How do you know this is transference, and not a genuinely uncomfortable fit? There's something about your T resorting to the heresay perceptions of his other clients that strikes me as defensive ( my T told me he is well known by everyone as a win-win guy. I love my T, but he is not a win-win , easygoing guy!) .

I get the desire to be the perfect client, and I try sometimes too bc I feel guilty my dx and childhood story/ ACES score is kind of grim; I wish I could bring him something better, with a good moral or a happy twist.

One thing my T stresses is that perfect attendance is more than meaningful, bc many clients forget or reschedule heedlessly. My T is big on client's who use therapy to change their outside lives, so I work super hard to concretely apply what we discussed and tell him how I did and if it worked. He likes that. My T is very strict about the frame/ boundaries, so I don't ask for extra sessions and I have never once called him on the phone in 3 years. Mostly I try to grasp the idea that therapy is for me, and not to people please him. He and I are both overachievers, and he can sniff out that perfectionism and will say STOP trying to please me, and will have none of it. The two times he has been proud of me haven't been things I predicted.

I relate to your desire to be perfect now that the shadow of ending with him looms, and emailing remorse. I think if you could sit with a few other T's and get a feel for how they work, it could be valuable information for if this is the right fit?