Maybe it's less about you wanting to be perfect for him, and more about you wanting him to be perfect for you. If I were to play armchair therapist, I might guess this is the source of your anger, with a childhood history of a parent who was the definition of imperfect (sort of? one definition?).

One of my closest friends lost her mother to suicide when she was 18, and she is very, very perfect. Awesome career and leadership in a career when women rarely rose to that level, and a perfect caretaker for people in her family, sacrifices herself (and doesn't even feel resentful and certainly doesn't hold herself out to be an kind of martyr). Since I don't need any caretaking from her, I often get pushed aside for those who have "emergencies". She is so one of the kindest and thoughtful people I know, although she's often frustrated with me when I'm not perfect, when the slings and arrows of life cause me emotional pain. She has one of the finest minds I've ever experienced. Maybe you see some of this in yourself (I do, at least in a way the internet allows).

But how to be a better client? This is a serious question. I don't think it has anything to do with sending angry emails or having negative transference. I think you can do anything (besides a serious attack on a T, which I think your emails don't come close to counting) as long as you also engage in introspection about where the negativity and desire to communicate in this way comes from, what it means to you, and what you need to move from this place into one where you find some sense of peace and acceptance about whatever you are working through. I think being willing to tolerate what it takes to dig around in your past and its connection to the present, being open and authentic about where the exploration leads you, and being reflective and thoughtful about what and where you choose to go from here, I think that's the stuff of the perfect client. (You may be doing all that I realize, but I haven't seen you discuss this).

I think my version of behavior that keeps me stuck is likely to be in politeness and niceness, or maybe its positive transference in psychodynamic terms. For me some of the biggest moments of realization or insight or whatever have come when I drop the good girl routine and "school" my T about how his understanding or interpretation is wrong because of X, and it's the X that is something I haven't realized before.

I don't know if I am making any sense or in the neighborhood of what you're asking, but I don't think your inquiry here is ridiculous in any way. It feels like you trying to do things differently in therapy, which is always a positive attempt in my book.