Edit: this is really long. Enjoy! Lol.

Ok. I need to get this out. There are a few strange people in my family. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing with them. I had a fun time with my family this Christmas, I mostly enjoyed myself. But I'm wondering what I should do about some things in my family, if anything. Maybe boundaries.

Here's one example: there's a woman that my cousin is engaged to. She has basically been part of the family for a few years now. She has issues. But I have always been nice to her. Her issues are that she lies, and she used to do drugs. I know that there are different opinions on drug addiction. But that's not the issue. The issue is how I feel about myself around her, and how I feel I might be being treated.

She is very inconsistent, to say the least. Or rather, since I've known her for a little while, it's more consistent, when I think about it, and I just don't like it.
For instance, when we see each other at family parties, she's usually like "I love you" to me, at least once. But I do not feel like she is a good friend to me in any way. We are friends on Facebook, and she is often on it. But she never likes any of my stuff even though I like hers. It may sound petty. But I'm wondering why. I'm sick of it and it makes me feel badly. She has a friend who I am friends with now too and she likes that person's stuff. She likes my cousin's brother's stuff. But she never likes mine. I guess I also think it's weird because she told m today she saw a picture I posted on Facebook. She didn't like or comment on it or anything. But it made me think "Ok, so she is looking at my stuff and just not reacting to it? weird."

I have been trying to be in more contact with her, because, I don't know, she says she "loves" me and is so charming and charismatic with me when we see each other at family stuff. But I notice that I am the only one reaching out. She responds. But I am always the one to reach out. She mentioned that today, actually, at our family party. She said "Sorry it seems you're the one who's reaching out to me and not the other way around. I'm just so busy with work and my kids." Makes sense. I guess I just don't like it. And I don't get it. Idk.

I'm wondering if she is playing some kind of weird power game. Idk.

To be honest, I have spent time with her in the past, and have never really enjoyed myself. I'd always catch her in a lie. She wants to be a social worker, and that was really triggering to me because I honestly don't know if she'd be good at it. I think she needs to work on herself more first. I'm supportive, but yeah. She even has a bio of herself on an organization's website, saying that she is getting her degree in clinical social work. The thing is, she isn't. She just wants to. So, lie. It basically just sounds good.

Once, she set up a gofundme account, for diapers and rent for her family, only, my cousin is loaded. He is a trust fund baby. So It just seemed like she was looking for attention. I could have said something to her, and I didn't. I didn't want to start trouble. A lot of people said things to her on Facebook about it, and she just got mad. I think she is deluded. I was upset with her a couple years ago for lying. And she didn't get it. She made me into the bad guy. It was very dramatic. I ended up apologizing to her, because I was pissed and went overboard. But I see her as having issues and it is concerning to me that she wants to be a therapist. She even lies about why her children got taken away from her (they are back with her now).

I think I need to pull back from her now. I'm not sure what her deal is. But I need to pull back. I do not feel like she has my back. It all feels very shallow. We can see each other at family parties and be nice. I just really don't like it when she hugs me and says "I love you!" It feels manipulative and I feel like I have to say it back even though I do not want to.

I feel like I always get pulled into this. I try not looking on her fb page. And then she will say something to me in passing conversation at a family party like, "did you see my fb page?" I think she is a toxic person. The more I write about this, the more I think it.

One last thing. She told me she tried to kill her mother once during a fight. I believe this is why her mother will not speak to her now. She complained about it on Facebook ("my mother won't talk to me, I'm so sad about it"), and got a ton of "hugs" from people. Though she omitted the reason ("she tried to kill her").

I believe that I am afraid to make waves with this toxic person. I think I just need someone to believe me. And tell me that something's going on. She gave me a present for Christmas this year. See? It's so confusing. I need distance. I know it takes 2 to tango. I think I need some stronger boundaries. Talking to my mother about this or my therapist, doesn't seem to help. I don't give all the info, and they just don't get it.

I am mainly concerned that I am just...caught in a toxic person't narcissistic web of glib game. I don't like how I feel. I need boundaries. Strong ones. I want my power back.

Edit: come to think of it, if she was posting on my page and liking my facebook stuff, it would be harder to pull back from her. So it seems like a good thing for me, really, that she is not. Also, I think I may need more of a social life. A healthy social life so I'm not like "Oh let's try to be closer to my cousin's insane fiance." It's not that I don't have a social life. But I think that whenever I see her, at family stuff, it's just hard. I end up...feeling sorry for her. Caving. Getting pulled in. It's so weird.